How To: Oral

Regardless of your gender, oral is all about having fun giving, or being able to completely let go and relax to fully receive.



Everybody is different so the best way to pleasure your partner is to ask them before or during, how they like oral to be performed on them. If you are the one receiving, do not hesitate to voice your desire. Slower, faster, more or less pressure, higher or lower… Communication will be your safest tool to make it a satisfying experience for everyone involved.


As the giver, you can have your partner laying on their back with their legs wide open, while you lie on your stomach, with your face between their leg. Or, to spice it up, have your partner stand up, or sit down on a chair or on the edge of the bed while you kneel lower down. Think about protecting your knees with a pillow. You may also want to try 69 for simultaneous giving-receiving.

Take Your Time

When performing oral, anticipation is always a good way to build desire and get acquainted with each other. Start by lightly kissing them – not directly on but around the genitalia: on the thighs, the lower belly, the pubis… you may also want to play with your partner’s nipples if they are into it, or grab, massage and slightly spank their butt cheeks.

If You Are Receiving…

It is totally fine for you to do absolutely nothing but to enjoy receiving. You may take more of an active role however, where you play with your partner’s hair, stroke their neck and their arms (if they are within reach), or even talk dirty to them. You may also mindfully sway your hips (up and down or side to side).

Pussy Licking

When eating somebody out, you can first lick their outer labia with the tip of your tongue, then move on to the inner labia and the space in-between, before making your way to the clitoris. You can use suction, do circular motions with the tip of your tongue, or lick them with a flat tongue – which will cover a bigger area. Some people prefer pressure to be applied locally while others may prefer a bigger surface stimulated. Again, communicate with each other to figure it out. After checking in with your partner, you could also insert fingers or a toy while licking them for a “oral-penetration combo.”


Great for outdoor activities because you can stay dressed if you are wearing easy access clothing like a skirt or loose pants.

For a more comprehensive technique, check out this Article by Sex Educator Luna Matatas.


Giving a blowjob, you can first lick or kiss up and down the shaft, before teasing the gland in that you kiss it and, with the tip of your tongue, make circular motions around it. You may want to lightly massage the ball sack, or maybe even grab the bottom of the penis with one hand to apply soft pressure. You can also reach for the perineum and stroke it – there is so much more to focus on than just the shaft! Once you are reading to suck the penis, make sure there is enough spit to avoid any uncomfortable friction, and again – check-in with yourself and with your partner how deep or not you would like to go. Use one or both hands around the penis to follow your mouth, for extra stimulation. At any moment, you can come back to their perineum, balls, nipples, or inner thighs. Make it a whole-body experience.

To understand how to erect a penis, read this Article Kelvin Sparks wrote for us.


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