Squirting: Origins & Controversies
Before we get started, I would like to tell you a little bit more about squirting…
Squirting is the act of expelling fluid from the urethra, a reaction to the G-spot being stimulated. The fluid may come out with force, or very subtly. The G-spot (or as I like to say “G-area” because it is hard to pinpoint a small spot) is located 4 to 8 cm inside the upper vaginal wall, the part that is closest to your belly button. The G-area swells during arousal and can feel almost like a sponge, or a bit bumpy. Some people have theorized that it is part of the prostate, while others believe it to be part of the clitoral network, which extends up to four inches into the vagina. This network extends into the body and splits into paired legs (crura) and bulbs (vestibular bulbs) then wraps around the urethra and vaginal canal.
There has been a lot of mystery surrounding both squirting and the G-spot. Their very existence is actually denied by some. Indeed, it can be explained by the lack of funding for studies on female sexuality, leading to those two phenomenons being under-researched. When it is researched, however, it is done by cis-men interpreting data about our bodies. Historically, people with vulvas have been silenced and have had very little space to express their opinions concerning their own bodies, and what squirting is for them. Because it depends on many variables, squirting is far from being a simple topic.
One thing I can tell you for sure is: Squirting does exist and I know that I have a G-spot because I have touched it, I have felt it… I do not need cis-men scientists to approve of my body and its functions – and neither do you. That is a big part of the reason why I love practicing squirting so much. It is a way for me to reclaim my body and to make myself heard and seen. And I want to share this experience with you.
Getting Things Started
Before getting into it, I want to make sure everyone understands: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you cannot or simply do not want to squirt. This is a journey of empowerment and discovery. The result is secondary.
First, make sure the space you are in is comfortable. Not only being in the mood, but feeling comfortable enough to be able to let go and release is important when it comes to squirting!I So let’s make the space as relaxed as possible.
Check that the space is free from distractions: set your phone on “do not disturb” mode, and shut out other noises that may distract you.
It may be a nice idea to have some nice soft fabric around you, like a blanket or anything loose like a robe, or be completely naked if you want to be!
If you are worried about making a mess (which is not a big deal!), throw a towel down.
Get yourself into a comfortable position. Each body is unique and will find one position more comfortable than another. Personally, I like sitting upright on the edge of my bed with my butt edged up on the side. Some people may like laying on their back or even squatting which allows gravity to be on your side!
Set the mood with some nice lighting.
Have some of your fav lube set up beside you. You should always be fully lubricated before any intense stimulation. You can also have some toys within reach. I recommend anything that has a curve to stimulate your g-spot. Some people find that they can squirt simply from very intense clit-stimulation with a toy such as a magic wand. Of course you can also try practicing squirting with your own hands. It may be a bit harder to get the right angle, but not impossible. I say practice squirting because like any other skill in life, it takes practice. To make squirting a practice means to take the time, be patient, and be prepared for the days on which it may not happen.
Squirting is about being physically relaxed as well as being turned on. Take the time to wash your hands and pee so you do not have to worry about a full bladder, and start showing yourself some love. Maybe you want to caress parts of your body before slowly starting to stimulate your vulva with a nice massage, or with your vibrator. Remember to use lube too, the wetter the better!
Once you are turned on and wet, apply more lube and, very slowly, slide one or two fingers inside your vaginal opening. Your palm should be facing up, and slightly curl your fingers inside to form a little “c” shape or a hook. You want to position your fingers up, and in, towards the direction of your belly button. You will feel an area that protrudes from the wall of your vagina that may be firm, a bit bumpy, or sponge-like. Try to apply a bit of pressure there and see how it feels. You may have the sensation of having to pee, but that is normal! In order to squirt we need to let go of any notions of control. Play with your fingers as if you were beckoning someone to “come here” moving them back and forth. You can start by slowly executing this motion and then when you are ready, you can increase the speed.
If you find the angle too difficult to reach, get your toy and slowly insert it with lubricant. Play with the angles and try to hit that area behind your pubic bone. By playing around with the toy you have much more flexibility and will be able to better find that point of pressure in your G-area – then play with the speed and motion of the toy moving in and out of your vagina.
You could also change positions. Try squatting with your fingers inside of you, or try lying on your back with a toy which will help you better reach the right angles. If you are not playing alone, guide your partner’s hand motions, or get them to help with a toy and tell them what feels good.
When you get to the pressure point and the G-area, you will know it. It will feel like a sudden urge to pee. Now, this part is very important: Let that anxiety go, and breathe through the pressure. Start to visualize in your head fluids flowing from you, and relax your body so they can flow freely! You can go at your own pace from here.