How To: Missionary

The only boring thing about the Missionary Position is its name, to which I propose the French term, The Classic, as a more fitting alternative. The most common of all sex positions, the Missionary is incredibly versatile and can be altered endlessly to add variety and different types of stimulation.


If you think the Missionary position is boring, think again. The only lame thing about it is its name, which presumably originated from English-speaking missionaries who encouraged it to new converts in the colonial era in favor of what they deemed animalistic and savage ways to copulate.

The Manner of Serpents is the name given to the same position by some Arabic-speaking groups, which makes it sound far spicier. Personally, I prefer the French term, The Classic, because true classics never go out of style, and they can always be accessorized in a multitude of ways to add variety.

How to Do It

The most common of all positions, the Missionary likely does not require too detailed of an explanation. Briefly, it is a horizontal position where the penetrating partner gets on top, between the legs of the receiving person who is laying on their back.

Beware, bottom does not equal passive! Just because the thrusting partner often exerts the bulk of the energy does not mean the one receiving should lay there like a so-called starfish. Actively engaging and moving together does not only make it easier for the top but more enjoyable for both.

The Most Intimate Position

Missionary provides ample skin-to-skin contact and the obvious benefit of facing your lover allows for deep eye gazing, kissing, and sexy whispers into each other’s ears. The bottom person also has their hands free to stroke and caress their partner, play with their nipples — or, help stimulate themselves closer to orgasm.

An Endlessly Versatile Position

Missionary can be less strenuous than other more acrobatic positions and is, therefore, a perfect choice when one or both partners feel less energetic or in the mood for slow, cozy sex. On days when you are in for a proper workout, on the other hand, you can easily turn up the heat several notches for a proper pounding session.

Missionary Variations

Slow It ALL the Way Down

If you tend to default to jackhammering, change it up by going as slow as you can—even remaining entirely still—to really tune into and feel every inch of each other. The receiving partner can amplify the sensations by contracting their pelvic floor muscles to squeeze their vagina or anus around their partner’s penis. Intensify it all by synchronizing your breaths and making eye contact.

Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) for Clitoral Stimulation

Also referred to as grinding the corn, CAT is a variation of Missionary where instead of thrusting in and out, the penetrating partner focuses on grinding their pubic bone up and down, against their partner’s clitoris.

Variations for Greater Depth

With small adjustments to pelvic angle and leg positions, the Missionary can be altered to achieve deeper penetration.

1. Prop It Up. A pillow under the lower back of the bottom person raises their pelvis for more depth and stimulation of the anterior walls of the vagina or rectum.

2. Leg Wrap. The bottom person wraps their legs around their partner’s waist to pull them closer.

3. Over-the-Shoulder. Flexible bottoms can place one or both legs on their partner’s shoulders for ultimate depth.

4. The Bridge. The penetrating partner gets on their knees while the bottom person raises their bum and hips, and either pushes off the surface below with their arms or places their hands on their lower back for support.

Variations for Lesser Depth

With toys, we can easily switch it up according to our mood or preferences, but when the penetrating partner has a larger-sized penis or more shallow penetration is desired, these are some ways to accommodate that:

1. The Launch Pad.  The bottom person bends their legs to place their feet on the chest of their partner to manually hold back and control penetration depth.

2. Closed Legs. When the receiving person closes their legs it prevents the top from penetrating too deep. Similar to the CAT, this variation focuses less on internal and more on external stimulation.

3. Kneeling Missionary. The top person gets on their knees for added distance and greater control of depth.

4. Penis Bumpers. A fairly new category of toys on the market, penis buffer rings such as the OhNut, can be stacked around the base of the shaft to achieve desired depth without having to manually hold back.

Toys for External Stimulation

Due to the physical closeness of the Missionary and the fact that the penetrating partner’s hands are busy holding themselves up, external stimulation can be challenging during thrusting. This is where sex toys come in handy. 

While wands are great, they are fairly large and bulky. A small bullet vibrator makes it easier to reach, but even more ingenious are finger vibes, which are small vibrators that wrap around or attach to one or two fingers. 

Completely hands-free solutions such as wearable vibes that stay put on the vulva and/or clitoris are excellent choices for Missionary sex. Vibrating cock rings not only stimulates the person wearing them, whether used on a penis or the base of a strap-on, but add extra sensation and pleasure to the clitoris of the person getting penetrated.

I Could Go On...

I could continue with more hints and tips, such as how to make it kinkier with blindfolds or restraints, nipple clamps, spreader bars, and so on and so forth, but you get my drift. Only your own imagination limits what is possible when you start with the Missionary.


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