Hands are incredibly sensitive. What does that have to do with handjobs? Everything. Handjobs are more than just an appetizer for sex. Pleasing another person’s penis with your hands can be more than just up-down-up-down (although that can be fun). In this guide, we want to take you by the hand and show you techniques, tips and tricks for fun handjobs. Disclaimer: The article assumes that you are giving a handjob to a person with a penis.
The good thing about a handjob is that it’s easy to implement. The skills we show you here can mostly be used in spontaneous situations. But that doesn’t mean that a handjob per se needs no preparation. If you’re in contact with someone you don’t know yet, or even if you’ve known each other for a long time, communication before sex can lay the trusting foundation for shared pleasure. Every penis is different and every person has different preferences. What tickles, what feels good, what overwhelms: You can ask about all this or find out for yourself. It’s important that you don’t get too technical: a handjob should be fun for you and the person receiving it.
Our Recipe: Why Not a Bit of Oil?
Even if a handjob with a hand and penis already gets along well, there are a few props you can use. Basically, anything that changes the friction is welcome. This can be lube or oil, good old Vaseline or even saliva. Jojoba oil or apricot kernel oil are not only good for a different friction feeling, they also care for the skin (your skin as well as the skin of the receiving person). Wellness much?
As for the setting, it can be nice to lie on your back and on the bed. A pillow under the lower back can raise the pelvis and help the receiving person relax, plus the penis is then slightly elevated and easier to reach. But a handjob can also be fun while sitting on a chair or standing up. If you want to go further, you can blindfold the receiving person, tie their hands and put on a cock ring. None of this is a must, but try your hand at it!
Morphology: Cut vs. Uncut?
As mentioned earlier, every penis is different. A good and basically helpful distinction is: cut or uncut, meaning circumcised or uncircumcised. This refers to whether the person has a foreskin or not. There are many reasons why a person does not have a foreskin (anymore): Religion, cultural affiliation, or medical reasons. The cliché is that a circumcised penis is basically less sensitive, but it cannot be said so sweepingly. The sensitivity of the glans is individual, but it is often the case that people who are circumcised prefer to masturbate with aids or with saliva, because that helps to create the right friction. All penises are beautiful in their diversity, just like your hands.
It Is All About the Right Grip
It’s often helpful to see someone with a penis masturbating themselves. We all know our own bodies best and being shown how someone pleasures themselves gives you information on technique, rhythm and grip. This doesn’t mean that you are simply imitating what the person is doing to themselves. The thrill and excitement of being touched by another person is that you don’t know what’s coming. As a basic posture, you can grasp the penis with your whole hand and feel your way in. Here, the reaction of the receiving person can also tell a lot, or you simply ask: Should I grip more firmly or rather less firmly? The thumb and index finger together play the role of controlling the grip in the direction of the glans. You can regulate the pressure and experiment with it on the glans, the most sensitive part of the penis. But pressure and friction on the shaft of the penis can also bring pleasure, especially if you want to change the stimulation.
Another gripping technique is to place your thumb along the shaft of the penis on the tip of the glans. From here, you can either use friction or massage the tip of the glans with your thumb. Here, either saliva, oil, or another tool can help create the right friction. It is also conceivable that you use the so-called pre-cum and use it as a friction agent. (By the way, you can also satisfy a person with your feet instead of your hands, but footjobs are a separate topic). And from here we already come to the rhythm.
Finding the Rhythm
When it comes to handjobs, rhythm is important. Basically, much of the handjob consists of massaging and rubbing the shaft and tip of the penis with your hand. Fast, slow – find the right rhythm together with the receiving person and vary from here. It can be nice to get into a rhythm and vary from there, from fast to slow, from harder to more tender. Don’t get lost in the execution, but always have an eye on the person receiving. It is likely that you will be able to tell immediately from the physical reaction what your counterpart likes and doesn’t like. If you rely less on friction and more on massage, there is again a mixture of grip and rhythm here. How firmly do you massage, how does the friction work? It can be comfortable to hold the penis shaft in one hand and have the other hand massage the tip of the penis with the palm. Make room for experimentation – there is no right or wrong, a handjob is a process.
Come On: The Grand Finale
An orgasm is not the goal of a handjob, and there are many ways to play with climaxing. If you notice or if you are communicated that the orgasm is getting closer, you can pause to delay the orgasm. It can be pleasant to be stroked or massaged during the pause. If you want to go really deep, you can go into so-called edging, where the orgasm is delayed again and again. Another technique that many like is to masturbate with one hand and use the other to cup the testicles and gently pull them away from the body. When the receiving person comes, you can release the testicles. Many find this intensifies the orgasm.
Handjobs may sound trivial at first, but we hope we’ve been able to show you how much artistry can actually go into a handjob. The tips we’ve shown you are just inspiration – find out for yourself with the person receiving what you both enjoy. As a person giving a handjob, it can really bring a lot of pleasure to see how working with another person’s body has an immediate effect. A penis is then like a landscape that we explore with all the sensitivity of our hands. There is no one technique or perfect handjob. As always in sex, it comes down to communication and tact.
Here are some myths we wanna debunk about foreplay:
Foreplay is just for the bedroom
That is so routine! Foreplay can be done anywhere. Think about different contexts, like flirting over dinner with your partner or sending sexy texts while you are away or giving a seductive compliment about what you like about your partner or lover. Build anticipation by dropping them a line or two. Some great ideas are: “you are so good with your tongue, I want you to get creative and use it on me wherever you like tonight”, “My skin is craving your touch, please start with your fingertips on my back”, or “I wanna feel your mouth and breath on the back of my neck while I try to concentrate in this task I have to do”.
Foreplay is boring
Why does it have to be boring? Life is too short to be boring! We can move past just kissing or making out and take it to another level. There are so many erogenous zones, how could you get bored? The chest, nipples, butt, perineum (Your perineum is the tiny patch of sensitive skin between your genitals -vaginal opening or scrotum- and anus), mouth, back, thighs, feet, armpits, backs of the arms, navel, behind the knees, neck, ears, and the list could go on!
Simple physical contact can be such a turn on. Can you imagine your partner’s hands firmly grabbing your thigh? Their mouth near your chest? You softly caressing them from the neck down while looking directly into their eyes?
Our advice? Use this time to get creative and exploratory. Why not try something new like exploring a kink? It can also be an exciting way to rediscover things in your relationship- both with the other person and with yourself!
Foreplay should just be quick so you can get to the real action
Let us stop you right there and introduce you to a revolutionary idea…. slow sex! Why not start a new trend in a world that wants us to be constantly busy and running from point A to B? Foreplay should be savoured because it can be a delicious moment of connection and being present in our bodies. Instead of thinking about what happens next, think about what sensations you are feeling at the moment.
Here are some examples of what things you can focus on to be present in the moment: is your skin feeling electric to the touch of your partner’s fingertips moving slowly down your back? Are you feeling warm or tingly as someone uses their breath to move over your body? Do you note your breath getting faster and your heartbeat increasing? Are you really enjoying the feeling of a tongue gliding down your neck?
Things you want to focus on while getting hot and heavy
Foreplay can be something you set up to happen by purposely creating the environment or it can be more improvised. In both cases it is very much about being there, in the moment, trying to feel what it is that you and your partner/s desire. Many times we need to leave aside things that stress us out to be able to focus on what our body is really feelling. We suggest simple things like silencing your phone, putting on your favourite playlist, and making sure you have an intimate or private setting. If you are not into these things you can also switch things up and create the environment that feels best for you, maybe you like a more improvised feeling. It is not about fixed instructions that you need to follow to get in the right mood, it is more about seeking what you actually desire and being open and caring enough to hear what your lover/s longings are as well.
Communication can be a very sexy part of foreplay. Not just dirty talk, but also expressing desires, fears or any other feelings, can greatly improve your sex life. Even when the topic is not sexy stuff, building a context where you feel comfortable sharing with someone makes it so much easier to picture and develop intimacy together. Is not like you need to have long talks to be able to be hot for each other though! Just try to be upfront with your words and behaviour. Keep this in mind beforehand and practice checking on each other while sharing sexy time. Also, make sure to lower your expectations about how this shared experience of foreplay should develop, this way not only will you avoid any frustrations, but also take away the un-sexiest thing of them all… pressure.
And lastly we think that going slowly is always a good idea. It is easier to really feel what is happening between you and your partner/s and how to keep going when you are not in a rush. Slow does not mean less intense, many times is the exact opposite. You are always always able to speed up when the situation calls for it. Taking things slow both with yourself and with your partner could intensify the pleasure and also help intentionally build a very intimate memory for you both.
