It is summertime, y’all. Am I the only one feeling hot underneath my collar? Thinking of summer and sex naturally I have to think of sex on the beach. Probably, popular culture has done its fair share to link beach holidays to sex on the beach. There is something about the gushing of the waves and the rawness of the elements earth and water colliding that gives nature a sex-like vibe. It’s not only Björk that gets turned on by nature or at least recognizes nature’s eroticism.
In some collective fantasy sex on the beach is one of the sexentials in any Malibu-esque vacay trip with bae. The beautiful sunset, the sound and rushing of the waves, the salty taste of the wind on your lips. You can actually taste the wind and your desire is b u r n i n g. The reality of sex on the beach is in some cases a lot less romantic and not as hot as imagined. Scouting for a place that is comfortable and you won’t get busted just while getting it on are just some aspects to keep in mind of when you want to do it with a peace of mind. Plus, there is sand almost everywhere. You can sort of skip the uncomfortable bits and get cosy and watch other people have sex on the beach. Since I love nature, but I don’t necessarily dig sand in my vulva or anywhere else, I super dig videos where I can watch people do sexy stuff without having to compromise on my level of comfort. Sorry, not sorry. Also, there is a rewarding and soothing effect on our brain when we watch things, almost like we are actually doing it ourselves. What is better than peeping on a sweet sex on the beach situation, while being filmed by someone that is shooting an amateur porn on super 8 film? Infinite hotness. Switching aesthetics, blurring genres, elements colliding. It does not get hotter than that.
Since the whole C19-thing I have found myself shifting my attention towards alternative sex practices. But boy, was I wrong when I thought getting jiggy was lame and no fun with all the clubs and sexpositive places being closed. As it’s historically been the case humans always come with fresh and exciting ways to have sex no matter the circumstances. It is definitely a time to develop a mindful approach towards the sexual practices that we engage in. That starts with the question of honesty and care for oneself and each other. So what is waiting for you in the realm beyond missionary? Get creative. Sex has always been multifaceted and diverse, now is just the time to actually define and communicate what sex means to you.
1. Zoom-in: Virtual Sex Parties
One of the pleasant discoveries is attending online sex parties on regular video conferencing tools. I would not have anticipated that attending online sex parties could be so enticing and immersive as it was. It went from having a wholesome, meditative setting getting acclimatized to being virtually in a room with strangers that will probably get undressed and will touch themselves. And although it seemed like it was more of a naughty version of the work meetings on Zoom, it very quickly felt more like an intimate and embodied experience of being part of a really hot and dirty gathering of people. Cute, queer and intimate, virtual and digital intimate space come with its limitation, but also chances. It can become more liberating, more comfortable if you want to try out different settings, if you feel unsure about anything or you don’t feel comfortable not knowing anyone. At the end of the day, we all have to make do with the current situation. Let your fantasy unwind!
2. Let me control you: Remote Orgasm Vibes
Phone sex and sexting have been around for decades and sustained some of the nights my lovers were far away. Now it’s time to spice it up a little bit, especially the long distance lovers should take notes: are you already profiting from remote controlled sex toys? If not, you are missing out. Here is the thing: No doubt you can have a dandy time with the Liberace fingers and the sex toys you may already own may be great, but remote controlled sex toys are a game changer. First of all, you can immersive yourself in the experience of feeling the sensation it gives you. Secondly, it lets you choose from a broad range of pleasure types and focus more on what you want. Thirdly, it lets you experience on-the-go pleasure and your lover, who is either far away or just next to you, can decide when you get to experience pleasure. Also, we are rooting for non binary sex toys!
3. Nature Fuck: Ecstatic Sex in Nature
We talked about the effect nature and the elements can have for the erotic experience. Since we cannot know for sure how to cope in times of social distancing and if you don’t happen to live with your lover or partner to have safe sex. Although it is illegal in some countries, you can scout for places in a nature – maybe a park, lakeside or nearby forest – and round off your nice little walk with a quick and sensual fuck in nature. Again, like sex on the beach, the better prepared the better, but it still can be loads of fun having sex in the great outdoors. Just remember to be safe and consensual, try not to get arrested and take care of nature. Enjoy the adventure!
Cover © Courtesy to Erika Lust Films, Analoxica