How to Prepare for Anal Sex Step 1: Getting in the right mindset
Before we get started physically, you might want to check in mentally. Have you ever seen your butthole? What thoughts and concepts do you have about anal pleasure? Yes, it’s the area of your body from which you shit. But shitting, much like having a butthole, is part of human life. There’s nothing dirty about engaging with your body fully (we cover good hygiene rules in just a bit).
Prejudices and reservations around the anal area can hinder pleasure. This doesn’t mean you need to be free of all these feelings. It’s an invitation to acknowledge where you are. The only way is through. Writing down your thoughts will help you to ease into this experience and support you in rewriting the story of anal arousal. What expectations and wishes do you have for this experience? Is it a solo session or are you willing to share this with someone? All of this is part of the mental preparation.
How To Prepare For Anal Sex Step 2: Hygiene is mandatory
Good hygiene down there is mandatory. It will not only help you navigate through the culturally attached prejudices around the anal area, it will also help you to feel better and overall support a more wholesome experience. Anal hygiene starts on the outside. Many proctologists advise against wet wipes, as they can be harsh. As a proctologist once told me, “If your butthole could scream, it would”. So it’s much more preferable to clean your behind with water and a bit of soap.
For a deeper cleanse, particularly before penetration, you may consider using an enema or a clyster. You will find these tools in sex shops. Another method involves introducing lukewarm water into the rectum with a special shower head. Some people will just screw off the regular shower head and then use the hose to introduce the water. The water you’re using must be neither too hot nor too cold. The water pressure shouldn’t be very high, be gentle with yourself. Generally, you only want to cleanse the rectum and not the part of your guts that is above the rectum. You will feel the water coming in and then hit a moment of resistance before at some point going around a corner—that’s when you’ve had enough. The water will come out very soon, so either release yourself in a bathtub or, which means less cleaning afterwards, in a toilet. Once the water comes out pretty clear, you should be ready to go.
How To Prepare for Anal Sex Step 3: Get in touch (physically and emotionally)
Now that you’re cleaned and ready, you can start engaging physically. Before you start touching your anal area, tune in with your emotions. Is this a shared experience, are you exploring your body by yourself? Is this an experience where both partners are going to receive and give anal pleasure? It’s very important to feel your somatic experience. Pushing through because you want to be penetrated, well, won’t work (Trust me, I’ve tried).
Inserting something into your rectum may initially feel strange and counterintuitive. It can trigger discomfort and, if you feel pain, slow down or stop. Try and invite this experience as a process rather than a task, understanding that it might take a few sessions and each will be different. Even with years of anal sex experience, there are times when it doesn’t feel right, and other times, you barely need any foreplay to get right into it.
Rimming very beautiful and non-invasive way to stimulate the anus. It can also help build trust in the dialogue between bodies. A tongue is both soft and strong enough to prepare your body for what is to come. Fun fact about rimming: The anal area is made of the same tissue as the lips, which is why the skin is pigmented differently than the rest of that area. So in some way rimming a partner is like kissing them—just from behind.
Lubrication, Toys and Tools
The world of lube is vast; the many, many products on the market serve different purposes. A good lube needs to do the following things: ease friction, feel good in your body and last for long enough. In the world of lubes, there are vegan options based on water, there is silicon-based lube. There are even DIY options for you to try, such as jojoba oil, apricot oil or coconut oil. What’s important is that the lube is adjusted to your practice. Fat-based oils aren’t condom-friendly, so they’re best suited for practising anal sex without a condom. Most lubes on the market are very condom-friendly though.
Toys can also be valuable tools. Starting with smaller options before transitioning to a fully fleshed-out body part or a larger toy resembling a penis can be helpful. It will help here to try your own fingers or have someone slowly insert their finger into you. Toys aren’t mandatory, just a suggestion.
