Go Down On Me
In this article I would like to offer a few simple tools to empower you to give the blow jobs you want to give. Don’t worry, your (sexual) partner will like them. First of all and most importantly: Ask yourself whether you want to pleasure your (or a) partner orally. Because – I shouldn’t have to say this – you don’t have to give blow jobs if you don’t want to. Don’t do it if you are doing it out of obligation. I, personally, do not want anyone to go down on me if they don’t enjoy it, and the same should apply the other way around.
Tell Me What You Need
Blow jobs can be beautiful and pleasurable for the giver, too! This is if you genuinely enjoy giving your partner oral pleasure, if you love exploring your partner’s body, penis and balls and if you are talking about both your likes and dislikes. Every penis (and every vulva) is unique and every person is different, so even though one might say they generally enjoy the feeling of a partner’s mouth wrapped around their dick – everyone has different preferences.
So, before we get started, let’s answer this question: What do you need from your sexual partner in order to pleasure them orally? For example, them having a shower before you spend time with their dick is not too much to ask for, neither is you wanting to be pleasured an equal amount.
Sex Me Slow
Let’s say your (sexual) partner – or both of you – are fresh out of the shower and you’re in the mood to go down on them. You can start by taking some coconut oil and massaging your partner’s body, kissing their chest, ears, neck and then slowly working your way down to the penis. [Coconut oil – or any other natural oil you use for cooking – works well as massage oil and lubricant, because it benefits the body inside and out. Make sure you only use latex-free condoms with oil, because the oil can lead to the condom ripping.]
Give yourself and your partner time to enjoy every part of it. The build-up to the blowjob itself can be very exciting, so feel free to tease a little, give yourself time to explore your partner’s body and first and foremost: enjoy yourself. How softly can you kiss, how provocatively bite? Does your partner like to be delicately caressed or rather scratched? Is it the combination of everything? Feel free to ask your partner how they want to be touched and what they enjoy. For a lot of people, it is difficult to know what they like sexually, let alone knowing how to express it, so if they cannot tell you, try different things and find out together. This is your playground.
I Love Dick
Once your mouth wants to kiss your partner’s penis, take your time again, and slowly devour it. You can lick it from the shaft up to the tip, you can gently hold, stroke, or pull the balls. You can wrap your mouth around the top part of the penis and gently start sucking while your hands are massaging their thighs. You can use your tongue and your boobs (if you have a pair) to play or massage the perineum and the anus. Feel free to also use your hands during a blow job – whether it is to massage the penis at the same time you’re sucking it or to continue stroking and massaging other parts of the body.
These are just a few things one can do and there are a thousand more. Remember, everyone is different and it is not your responsibility to give a great blow job straight away. Find out what your (sexual) partner likes and don’t be afraid to explore!
5 Rules for a Perfect Blow Job
- Find out what you want and need
- Communicate your own needs and boundaries
- Ask the person in question what they like
- Take it slow and explore together
- Enjoy yourself
If You Feel Like This Has Not Been Practical Enough:
- Make sure your lips are soft
- Do not use your teeth unless your partner explicitly asks for it
- And don’t be afraid to produce too much saliva: The blow job feels a lot better, when the penis is wet
Last but Not Least
The tip of the penis is extremely sensitive and you have the perineum, the balls, the anus, the thighs, and so much more to play with, so don’t worry about fitting an entire penis in your mouth, you’ll still be able to blow their mind.
