How To: Anal Play & Penetration

Anal sex. For a very long-time taboo, anal has recently entered the mainstream. And for good reason: whether you have a prostate or not, the nerve endings around the anus make it one of the most pleasurable parts of the body to play with.


Ecstatic Anus – Anal (Fore)play

Anal play may be used for anal penetration, but there is much pleasure to be taken from non-penetrative anal play on its own. The butt massage is one of the most underrated sexual practices. Since the anus is full of nerve endings – touching, spanking, stroking, and caressing the butt can already feel orgasmic. You may want to start by massaging and stroking your partner’s butt cheeks, maybe even lightly spanking them. You can also explore between your partner’s thighs or try flicking your finger from the perineum (ridged area above the anus) back to the anus. This will familiarise your partner to your touch and help them relax before working your way towards the anus. Using a lot of lube or massage oil, make circle motions with the tip of your fingers. Don’t be shy to switch up pressure and patterns! Constantly check-in with your partner’s preferences. We deeply encourage you to explore non-penetrative anal play because it is incredible!

Anal Penetration

If you were to opt for penetration, however, here are some things to keep in mind. You will need lube. A lot of it. More than you think. And to regularly reapply it. The anus does not self-lubricate, and lube will ease penetration, whether with penis, fingers, or toys, avoiding any unwanted friction and pain on either end. We cannot insist enough that you should check in with your partner if they are enjoying each step of the process.

A spooning position may be a good option for first timers and with new partners – whether penetration is made with penis, hand, or toy. Both partners laying on their side, it allows for the giver and the recipient to share control over the speed and depth of the penetration.

A doggy position, somewhat more advanced, also applies to all kinds of penetrations. While it allows for a deeper penetration, the recipient will have zero control and it therefore demands a lot of trust between partners.

If using a strap-on or penis, the Rider (the recipient in a straddling position) can be a good middle ground. Both partners may take control: the giver may thrust into their partner, or the latter can be the one taking charge.

Whatever the position you are choosing, the key is to go into it slowly, check in with each other, and use enough lube. In case you are using a strap-on or any kind of toy, please make sure that it is compatible with the kind of lube you are using.

How to Prepare for Anal Sex?

Let’s finally tackle what has made anal sex taboo, still refrain many from its pleasures, and is often feared of bottoms: poop. Be assured, poop does not sit at the entrance of your anus, and the chance of actually pooping on your partner is extremely unlikely. Yet, some tiny residue might be exposed during intercourse. It does not matter if you decide to prepare with an anal douche, or by simply washing the area with some hot water and soap (which is also totally acceptable) – the risk 0 does not exist.

The best way to tackle this eventuality is for partners to address the issue beforehand. It is completely natural, nothing to be ashamed of – and it certainly says nothing about your personal hygiene. If it were to happen, change condoms if using one, or simply wash it off – and get back to it.


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