What Is Sexual Wellness and How Can We Find It?

Why do we need to aim for sexual wellness and how we can achieve it. Written by Eliza Lawrence, a sex coach, and writer.

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What is sexual wellness?

Sexual wellness often gets overlooked because we tend to concentrate on the act itself and not the before or after. Sexual wellness is having an awareness that sexual justice, sexual health, sexual wellbeing, and sexual pleasure are all intrinsically linked and must be thought of together. Sex involves every part of yourself. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the sublime, even, some may say, the divine! But what is divinity without a little thought? What is sensuality if not confidence that body, soul, and mind are working in perfect harmony? When the boat is on still water it glides without obstacle, it pleasurably sits upon the sea edging its journey through the ocean. Sexual wellness is about creating your ocean so that your journey is exactly yours. Often the waters are invaded by winds and currents. Sexual wellness is learning the skills to cope with this and to be able to navigate, through communication, a better way of traveling towards your most empowered self. Sexual wellness is an act of harvesting and focusing your senses positively to enable a blend of connection with yourself and then with another. 

How do we enable and allow for sexual wellness then?

You start with yourself, which is a term repetitively sloganed in the age of wellness. But this is no trend, it is the truth. Our bodies can become swallowed by noise and struggle that we begin to have to push to feel and find stillness to hear ourselves again. So, finding yourself must be done and the consequence is that you become aware of yourself and how you move through this world. Sexual wellness is part of you and finding it can be about taking time to caress yourself, feel where you like it and where you need it. This can be anything from taking the time to watch others exploring on our CHEEX platform and becoming inspired to bring your own exploration into your sexual practice. Moreover, you could watch a tutorial to activate different sensory experiences, we have a ‘Yoni Massage’ tutorial led by Caroline Florez on our platform.

Having an open and positive mindset toward sex is also crucial. It is both emotional and cognitive as it involves justice, pleasure, and health. It is about opening your mind to the following topics and communication to flow through their meanings:

Overwhelming?

Well, there are many ways to understand what all this means and how you can achieve these states of wellness. CHEEX is not just about representing ethical, feminist porn but also explaining ways to achieve sexual wellness yourself.  Its unashamed sex education, diverse voices, and exclusive performer insights allow for discussions of sexual wellness. 

CHEEX has: 

Workshops to enhance your sexuality and love life by attending live courses from sex and wellness experts in order to: Educate, explore and train from a safe, personal pace.

Listen, a place to find sensual erotica spoken to you which can open your inspiration and senses when you need to find yourself again. There is something for everyone to achieve whatever pleasure they may need. There are even tutorials with performers which is a beautiful way to learn and expand your knowledge of everything from consent to STI’s. 

Learn, a page consisting of articles about the culture of sex, sexual health, love and lust, Sexucation, and CHEEX talks.

My personal favorite in the ‘Sexucation’ section of Learn is Bethany Burgoyne’s ‘Prioritising Sexual Health: From Condoms to Kinks’ which is an inclusive dig deep into sexual wellness through a lens of health.

Then, within the CHEEX talks, you can find amazingly educative and wellness aimed podcasts with special guests such as Charlotte Weise talking about taboos and how to live out sexual freedom (in German).

All inspiration and knowledge can be found on CHEEX in a very sensual way. Moreover, I will also deliver some of my own recommendations on how to find yourself and how to understand sexual wellness after a few years of working in the sexual health and awareness industry. 

My personal recommendations for sexual wellness:

What works for you, may not work for someone else:  Subjectivity and individuality is not left in the bedroom or in any sexual act. We try and live our individual truths every day so why not when it comes to sexual wellness? We have multiple identities, genders, sexualities, contexts, and experiences.  So, your own sexual wellness is not someone else’s. Bear that in mind when you read, learn, watch and do. It also means you always must respect others’ way too. This also leads to a broader awareness of consent and openness to communication.

Hello Dearest: Be unafraid to ask for help from sexual health professionals. You can find a plethora of amazing coaches and therapists on Hello Dearest. It’s an app and very easy to use and actually made me inspired to take up my own sex coaching journey. The slogan is ‘Learn to love healthier. Start with yourself’. That sounds like sexual wellness to me!

Read Sex Positive by Kelly Neff: To break myths, ensure empowerment, and to disentangle shame culture to allow for complete sexual wellness, read this book. Kelly Neff redefines our attitudes to love and sex in a modern setting we all recognize. It situates you in the present which allows you to challenge your own notions of wellness. 

Do what you would do with your skin: A lot of sexual wellness is about keeping your body safe and empowered. Whether that’s finding the perfect toy, getting yourself tested frequently, trying breathwork in your everyday fitness regime, finding the best lube, and seeing what preparation your body needs before, during, and after the sexual act.

Websites to visit:

Toys:

Contraception and sexual health information: 

Preparation/Aftercare: 

Remember I talked of sexual wellness with a metaphor of a boat on the sea. The sea is fluid, ever-changing, and boundless and your experience of gaining sexual wellness and understanding will resemble that. How the boat travels and knows the water, is what is important. Using the plethora of information and inspiration on the CHEEX website, the personal recommendations, and your own inspirations to allow your sexual wellness to take on a stronger and more empowered self. Good luck and remember it’s achievable with confidence, investigation and help from others.

We look forward to aiding your journey towards sexual wellness!

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