Sex occurs primarily in the head. When we are stressed, we often feel unsexy, our libido decreases and sex slides down to the bottom of our to-do list. But sexual discomfort can also be a symptom of mental health issues, such as burnout or depression.On the other hand, maintaining a fulfilling sex life can have substantial positive effects on overall well-being. Research indicates that the combination of loving relationships, physical intimacy, and sexual activity contributes to health benefits. Plus, it’s a well-known fact that good sex can reduce stress.
1. Stress May Be a Cause of Sexual Reluctance
In addition to being fundamentally unhealthy, stress is also the ultimate lust-killer. Take a closer look at what specifically causes stress in your life, addressing these issues before they negatively impact your love life. If stress has been lingering for an extended period, it’s essential to identify and permanently deal with its sources. Are deadlines, conflicting roles, excessive demands or a lack of personal time contributing to your stress? Perhaps a vacation is needed, or you might benefit from carving out more time for yourself. Saying no to some chores and cutting down on some social obligations (when possible) can work wonders.To temporarily alleviate reluctance toward sex, try some relaxation exercises and spend dedicated time with your partner. As we know, having sex often can even help reduce stress levels; the release of the hormone oxytocin during sex breaks down the stress hormone cortisol and helps regulate further production.
2. Self-Worth and Relationships
Sex in itself mustn’t become a source of stress in your life. Feeling obligated to engage in sexual activity is an emotional burden that no one should carry such a weight. Before this happens, take the time to listen to yourself, clearly communicate your limits and never succumb to any form of pressure. Sometimes, we don’t want to have sex because our focus is just on something else. And you know what? That’s fine.
Reluctance to engage in sex might also stem from issues within the relationship itself, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is no longer physically attractive. However, unresolved or unspoken issues often manifest physically. The best approach is open communication – having honest, constructive conversations about any challenges in the relationship and staying both non-judgmental and empathetic.
3. The Harmful Effects of Technology
Ever heard of phubbing? It’s a portmanteau of “phone” and “snubbing” and describes the habit of using one’s smartphone while being with friends, colleagues, family members or partners. The modern vice can lead to the neglect of social relationships and can also impact our libido.A study from “Die Stiftung für Zukunftsfragen” (in English: “The Foundation for Future Issues”) indicates that people are having significantly less sex today, partly because a considerable amount of our free time is spent on laptops or cell phones. If two people are constantly glued to their cell phones in bed, it may not set a very sensual mood. Additionally, there are more and more studies suggesting that continuous cell phone use significantly increases stress levels. Allocating mobile-free time is essential, even outside the bedroom, to mentally switch off. Why not completely ban tech devices from the bedroom and just use a good, old-fashioned alarm clock?
4. Balanced Nutrition and Exercise
The positive effects of exercise on mental health are well-known: it releases happiness hormones like dopamine and serotonin while containing the stress hormone cortisol. Another benefit is that exercise stimulates blood circulation and the sympathetic nervous system, leading to an immediate increase in libido. Engaging in sports, especially activities like yoga that bring harmony to the body and mind enhances body awareness. This increased awareness allows for greater comfort in your own body and an exploration of what feels good, even during sex.A well-rounded diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds can also be beneficial. Many of these foods contain magnesium, which boosts energy levels and is essential for nerve cell communication, potentially reducing feelings of anxiety. Healthy fats from sources such as olive oil or fatty fish can stimulate the production of sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen—a hot side effect for increased pleasure!If you experience a prolonged loss of libido, it could be a sign of a serious mental health issue. In such cases, seeking professional help from a therapist or family general practitioner is recommended.
