How is it that something nearly everyone enjoys doing is still a subject of shame and secrecy? I myself had reservations about approaching the topic and therefore I never truly delved deeper into the matter and reaped its benefits – that is until now. It is common knowledge that sex uplifts your mood and leads to feelings of happiness, so shouldn’t that also apply to masturbation and pleasuring yourself?
The answer is an unequivocal YES!
Experience Masturbation
Firstly, I believe you must experience masturbation and see what are the things, thoughts, fantasies and feelings which turn you on. It’s best, if you are alone with yourself, maybe you’ll be using some sex toys or will be watching some arousing porn, but you have no outside pressure.
Because during sex, is everything really consensual? Most of us have some form of pressure, or we are trying to impress and satisfy our partner. But during a solo sesh, it’s all about you and only you… How liberating!! This moment is about you and you only, you can let your mind and desires take you anywhere – you can move, scream, shout in anyway you fancy.I got to know myself on such a deeper level, some things I never thought would turn me on actually started to!
You can discover some new erogenous zones, some sensitive areas of your body that you had no idea would work for you.
Prioritize Your Pleasure
The other most interesting thing for me was to realize what it was I was thinking about during my moment with myself: sometimes you find yourself thinking of a specific person, a place, a position; and sometimes you’ll realize you aren’t thinking at all. I managed to also get to a space of no thought at all – a semi meditative area which just ended with the best burst of pleasure.
I realize now how I’d been neglecting my own pleasure in many cases and wasn’t truly being myself, expressing what it was that I wanted in that moment – sometimes I had no idea myself and would leave it up to my partner. But at the end of the day, even if that partner knows your body and you’ve been intimate plenty of times, there is nobody who knows what you want and what you need, what you desire and what you crave better than you do. All it takes is a little practice, and for sure you’ll be happy to practice masturbating!
I used to be more quiet and reserved when it came to my own pleasure, often focusing more on the other person but now – although I take pleasure in making my partner cum -, I’m also deeply connected to what it is that turns me on and what I need them to do.
This of course doesn’t mean you must be selfish in bed and only think of your own pleasure, it isn’t mutually exclusive. But if you are connected to yourself, you will feel more connected to your partner and they will feel it too – both on the physical and the emotional side of sex. Although I don’t believe there necessarily to be a correlation between sex and emotions, masturbation can really help make both aspects of sex better.
It also deeply helped me get over some fears and negative body image I had: I often felt uncomfortable, not attractive enough. And this really affected the way I had sex as I’d be thinking of how I could make these flaws less obvious to my partner – I would waste some magical and extremely pleasurable moments by thinking of these negative traits instead of letting go and just being 100% myself.
How Masturbation Impacts Sex
Now, I get it! Sex is not affected by these things, only if you let your own fears take a bigger place than they should, you’ll be holding yourself and your potential for pleasure back. So, I decided to let it go! And since then, sex has been so much better and I feel so empowered!
Through masturbation, your confidence will grow, and with it your self-knowledge too. It’ll open you up to openly communicating your deepest desires and fantasies, so go ahead give it a try and experience your sexual awakening on a deeper level! You’ll feel great and so in control!
Whether you’re living the single life or you’ve got someone special, don’t forget to make time to masturbate – feel all the feels you deserve!
So, my advice is to practice masturbation and get out of your comfort zone – especially if you aren’t too acquainted with it -, and let it take you to places you may not have known the existence of. Who knows what will come out of it – as the possibilities are endless and deeply personal -, but my guess is: pleasure, open-mindedness, self-knowledge and an amazing pool of new and intense feelings!
