Pussy Lickin’ Good

Whilst blow jobs often seem to be expected, eating pussy still isn’t. For a lot of women having someone worship their vulva feels absurd. And I am using the word worship for a reason. So much shame exists around the look, the smell and taste of the pussy. Especially as the vulva is carried unseen on the body. Men wear their genitalia on the outside, where everyone can see them, evoking different kinds of insecurities, but the vulva as the hidden sexual organ has a different kind of forbiddance to it, a different kind of access and vulnerability. A lot of women are insecure about their pussies, yet all are beautiful and worth being worshipped and loved.

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My Neck, My Back

Before we dive deeper: Whether you are identifying as a man, a woman, any other or no gender, make sure you want to approach your (sexual) partner and their pussy with love and respect. Make sure you want to worship it and devour it at the same time. And please speak to your partner about their (and your) preferences, likes and dislikes, and if they do not know them yet, explore together. We seem to have forgotten about the power and the magic of the vulva. We might have seen “perfect” tight pussies in mainstream porn, we might have witnessed some techniques, but we don’t speak about our actual likes and dislikes, we don’t feel encouraged to explore through self-touch, what truly gives us pleasure. Naturally, during (hetero-)sexual intercourse the vulva is the one being penetrated and the penis is the one penetrating. And although that precisely can feel amazing for both sides, and although the person owning a vulva can be the dominating one during sex: The sheer fact that male and female body parts are made this way, can translate to a power imbalance, which makes it even more necessary to worship the pussies of this world.

WAP

Let’s say you and your (sexual) partner are in bed, caressing each other, kissing each other and you would love to pleasure your partner orally. First, make them feel comfortable, make sure they can relax into the experience and open themselves up to you. This can mean as much as being fully present, with them and for them. It can mean asking them what they need from you right now and/or what they want. They might have very specific instructions for you, and if not, you will find out together. As everybody and every body is different, the one recipe to pleasure simply does not exist. Yet there are guidelines and ideas to support you.

You can also start by giving them a full-body massage with some (coconut-)oil, that can be used as lubricant too. Most importantly, stay present and enjoy yourself. If you are not enjoying what you are doing, they will not either. You can tell them how good they smell, taste, what you love about them. A few suggestions: You can start by touching and kissing their whole body, their neck, their boobs (I am talking about the whole boob, not just the nipples), their hands, their inner thighs…or what turns you on. I know it is not easy to talk about sex or desires, especially whilst you are doing it, but try to communicate with your partner, you will find your way, and it can make things a lot hotter.

The Magic Key

Once you have made your way to their beautiful pussy, you can lick or kiss the outer labia, the inner labia, the clitoris, all parts of the vagina. And make sure you do. Make sure you do not solely focus on the clitoris, although it certainly feels amazing, you want to work your way up to it. You can use your thumbs to massage the inside of their thighs or the outer labia even, whilst your tongue explores their pussy. You can play around with the intensity and pressure of your touch and please do not insert anything into the vagina right away. If at some point you feel like inserting a finger or a toy or a pleasure wand or other fun tools, check in with your partner first. There are thousands of small nerve endings on the outside of the vagina, the outer labia for example, so there is no need to rush. If you only stimulate the most sensitive part of the pussy, the clitoris, it can turn numb. The same would happen to the penis, if you would solely focus on rubbing the tip.

“Lick it now, lick it good, lick this pussy just like you should”
Khia
My Neck, My Back, 2002

For the Perfect Pussy Pleasure

Stay present with them, breathe and make sound, communicate with each other, take it slow, and ravish your partner (with consent).

 

I would also recommend pussy-owners to explore what gives them pleasure through self-touch, with or without partner. And lastly, as always, if you do not want to orally pleasure your partner, do not do it. There is no obligation on either end. Enjoy.

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