The solution: digital dating, and digital sex. Tinder & Co. seem to be making a real comeback right now. I am back in the game and found out that it’s extremely busy!
Most of us spend more time on our cell phones than ever before, the so-called “real life” is no longer a source of distraction and the desire for intimacy is huge because of social isolation – actually ideal basic conditions for getting to know someone.
Half seriously, half ironically, I wrote “CS only” (CS = cybersex) in my Tinder bio. In the subsequent incoming messages, I quickly realize that digitally mediated sex practices are uncharted territory for many. So if you don’t want to put yourself at risk of getting infected, yet chatting or having a distanced walk won’t do, here are:
8 Sex Tips with no Risk of Infection!
# 1 FOR DIGITAL SEX TOO, Consent is the absolute 101
First of all, it should be very clear that both parties involved are interested in an online sexual encounter. Unsolicited dick pics are as out of place here as they would usually be. Either you directly ask if the other person is up for a sexy pic, or see if the mood of the conversation naturally flows into a sexting vibe. Consent and having a feeling about the other person’s limits are particularly important for online sex as some signs of non-verbal communication are more difficult to pick up on.
# 2 Which kind of cyber sex suits me?
There are numerous ways by which you can enjoy a digital sexy time… Whether it’s sexting, skype sex or dirty talking on the phone – the best way to find out what you like is to try it out. Variants of virtual sex include masturbating at the same time or creating a shared fantasy: What would you do together if you could see each other right now? Create a joint script for your encounter, so to speak, which you can already look forward to. There are (almost) no limits to your imagination. That being said, you must pay attention to the communication you’re having with the other person: respect signals such as a specific message left unanswered and draw a line then and there. Another very important thing to remember is writing about something does not necessarily mean it must be reenacted in real life: Consent must be obtained again and again.
# 3 Send Nudes (safely)
Let’s take a little detour to talk about data security. Especially in case you don’t know the other person well, you should be sending your sexy vibes to them as safely as possible. The most important thing here is to remain anonymous: hide your face, tattoos, birthmarks or any other defining features which could help identify you when you send nudes. Also pay attention not to let any objects from your apartment show up in the pics you send, such as furniture or family pics laying around in the background. And last but not least, be careful no important documents show up: a letter, bank statement or credit card that someone may just be able to zoom in on.
Also, there are some apps which are just safer to use. You should prefer apps like Signal and Telegram over Whatsapp, Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook Messenger. Signal, Telegram, and also the app Wire, include end-to-end encryption, screenshot blocking, secret chats, and a self-destruct timer for messages, and allow you to hide your phone number.
An easy way to steer the conversation into the right direction is the simple “What are you doing?” question followed by a description of what you are yourself doing in that moment, for example: “I’m lying in bed…”. When the vibe is right and the mood is there, the rest just happens naturally. If you like it more direct, describe what you would want to happen, for example: “I would really like to touch you now…”
# 5 How to keep the conversation going
Many of you may be wondering, how to answer and what if I don’t know what to say / write? Here are a few suggestions to keep the flow going:
Ask questions : “How does this feel to you?”, “What would you like to do to me right now?”
Make suggestions: “I would like XY now…”, “Then we could do XY.”
Describe what is happening: “It feels so good!”, “I am so wet/hard.”
Watch a porno together: One person chooses the film and sends the link to the other.
Read erotic texts to each other
If you don’t like something, say it openly and honestly: “I don’t think I like it that much, but how about XY?”
# 6 Hotline Bling
Phone sex sounds kind of ‘90s, but is still cutting edge. If you’ve already checked out CHEEX’s audio section, you already must know how stimulating sounds can be. Telling someone on the phone – or via voice message – what you’d like to do together is an incredibly sensual experience and can feel more natural than texts or Skype sex. Also, our imagination is still stimulated and even more vivid without visual stimuli and this can lead to whole new levels of arousal! Try it out: Especially if you know each other a little, a sexy surprise call during (home) office hours during an isolation walk can be super exciting.
# 7 Turn yourself on first!
Taking sexy pics needs to be learned and can be really empowering! It is helpful to start by taking a few nudes just for yourself – preferably in front of a mirror and with good lighting. Put something on that makes you feel sexy, maybe poor yourself a glass of wine and show yourself your most sensual side. You will quickly find out how you prefer to stage yourself for nudes and you can share your newfound knowledge with others. The whole thing can be done on photos, videos, or even GIFs – get creative!
Even if a second person is involved: take your time with the nudes! Finding the right angle takes practice and time and you should love the result as much as the recipient (waiting can also be very sexy).
Another tip : Nudes don’t necessarily have to naked! By cropping photos, you can stage certain bits of your body while the rest can be left to the imagination and guessed. Rest assured: more pics will be requested!
# 8 Skypedate gone HOT
If you don’t have a problem explicitly lounging around in front of the webcam, you will have a lot of fun here. Sex via Skype, Facetime, Google Hangout etc. can be great can, especially for visual people who feel comfortable in front of the camera. Here, it is all the more difficult to remain anonymous or to prevent secretly filming the screen. So the best thing is to only go for it when you really trust the other person. An innocent Skype date can be redirected into the right direction by giving simple hints or an unexpected nipple flash. Same as with taking pictures, good lighting is recommended: atmospheric but bright enough to guarantee great sights.
A tip for those who do not feel that comfortable in front of the camera: looking into each other’s eyes through the webcam while masturbating can make you reach whole new levels of intimacy!
All tips can of course be used when social distancing will be over (in long-distance relationships for example) and are guaranteed to enrich your sex life.