Where to start?
So you experienced some temptation to explore porn, but where do you even begin? How to use CHEEX? First, it might be helpful to think about what type of non-erotic media you like to consume in everyday life. Do you prefer audio over video? Or are you maybe more of a reader? Erotica comes in many forms, and there’s something for pretty much everyone. Reflecting on what you usually opt for in terms of entertainment is a really good way to figure out what you might be into when it comes to more explicit content. We cannot encourage you enough to try to do a bit of research to ensure the porn you are about to consume is ethically and fairly produced, but luckily, CHEEX can help you with that!
How to find what you like?
Next, think about your personal desires, preferences, boundaries (yes, it is also important to determine what your absolute no-nos are, so that you don’t feel triggered or upset by interacting with something that heavily features that), favorite visual styles, and so on. Try to name all these preferences, even if it feels a bit awkward at first – that’s absolutely alright! You can also check the categories or tags on CHEEX to serve as an inspiration.
Then, dive into the content that is labeled with whatever practice, style, or type of sexuality you decided you wanted to explore. Read the captions of individual films or stories to see if they tickle your fancy, or watch/read/listen to a short part of the video/story to see if you like the vibe. Don’t worry if it requires a bit of hunting at first, sometimes it takes a while to find something you enjoy. But once you do… Oh my!
What do all the specific terms mean?
MILF, BBW, POV, DP, … How should one know what all the acronyms and specific names mean? The realm of porn sure is very rich in them, and that’s why we have compiled a list of some essential terms for you! Please note that a lot of these phrases are based on sexist and racist stereotypes, and while you would not find most of them on CHEEX, they are very common on large porn sites.
ATM = Ass to Mouth, aka the act of annilingus or rimming
BBC = Big Black Cock. This term is incredibly problematic as it fetishizes Black cis men and reduces them to their genitals only, drawing on racist stereotypes of Black hypersexuality.
BBW = Beautiful Big Woman
BDSM = Bondage and Discipline & Sadism and Masochism, sometimes also referred to as SM only. BDSM encompasses many different techniques and practices, such as temperature/breath/electro/impact/edge play, foot worship, spanking and flogging, and much more.
Bottom/Top = These terms are used in two different ways: 1) In BDSM, to signify someone submissive (Bottom) or dominant (Top). Someone who enjoys both and does them interchangeably is called a Switch; 2) Mainly in gay sex, to label the receiver (Bottom) or giver (Top) of penetration. Again, there is a specific term for someone who likes to participate in either of them: Vers.
Brat = In BDSM, a Brat is someone who is submissive yet misbehaves on purpose, and enjoys the subsequent punishment.
CBT = We’re not talking a form of therapy here, instead, in sex and porn, CBT stands for Cock and Ball Torture.
DILF = Daddy I’d Like to Fuck. A sexy older man who could be a dad.
DP = Double Penetration. It can either be in the form of penetrating a vagina and an asshole, or two penises or dildos simultaneously in one hole.
Femdom = Type of domination in which a woman or a femme person is dominant.
FFM = Threesome with two women (FF) and one man (M)
GILF = Grandma I’d Like to Fuck
Golden Shower = Sexual play with urine
MILF = Mom I’d Like to Fuck
PAWG = Phatt Ass White Girl, meaning a white woman with a large butt. Another problematic term that is unfortunately still used a lot in mainstream porn.
POV = Point of View, which is a style of recording visual porn – from the performer’s point of view. Especially common for blowjob or penetration videos.
Spit Roast = Another threesome-specific term, describing a double penetration in which the receiver is in the middle, “sandwiched” between those who penetrate them.
Want to learn more? You can find our comprehensive porn glossary here!
How to enjoy porn?
If you say “Huh, everyone knows HOW!”, you might want to pause and read further. The most popular idea of how to consume porn is often the following: alone, with our curtains drawn, headphones plugged in, quickly, privately. But it doesn’t have to be like that! Sure, porn is a great addition to your self pleasure practice, but it can also be enjoyed with your partner(s). Furthermore, it can be used as a visual foreplay, whether alone or with someone, part of phone sex (long distance relationship? Why not try watching the same porn film while video calling, showing each other how you pleasure yourself while talking about what you like about the film?), a way to wind down during aftercare, or, when it comes to some highly artistic and avant-garde pieces, just a nice work of art to check out on a Friday night.
How to deal with shame and stigma?
Unfortunately, many of us have negative and stigmatizing messages about porn consumption deeply ingrained in our minds and bodies. That can then heavily influence our experience with embracing porn, causing us to feel embarrassed, awkward, or even dirty after we enjoyed a little porn session. It is important to acknowledge those feelings (nothing good ever comes out of trying to suppress emotions, trust me), but do not let them overtake and influence you so much that you are completely turned off pursuing your porn exploration journey. Instead, try to identify where they are coming from, and reason with them. Are you really someone “bad” if you watch porn here and there? Is anything real going to happen to you or your loved ones because you are on cloud nine after listening to that hot audio story? Consuming porn is a very normal and healthy way of interacting with our sexuality, and there’s nothing shameful about that!
But what about porn addiction?
Porn addiction is one of those giant, abstract yet incredibly particular fears that prevents many from dipping their toes into the universe of erotic entertainment. Are you one of those people too? Well, I have some good news for you! Many sex educators and sex researchers have been vocal about debunking the concept of porn addiction in the past few years, often citing research which shows that it is an issue that occurs very rarely and does not have such significant influence on one’s life as, let’s say, addiction to alcohol or illegal substances. The chances you’ll get addicted to porn are veeery small, so no need to stress about it so much!
What about security and privacy?
Part of why porn sites get a lot of bad rep is that many of them are quite fishy – flooded with questionable ads, pop up windows, and an occasional virus that will render your computer useless. But not all of them are like that! While pretty much any website can be susceptible to hacker attacks, if you opt for paid porn platforms like CHEEX, you can rest assure your personal data is not being misused, and that your device will not be spammed with offers for penis enlargement pills and “hot babes in your area,” as is so common on large free porn sites.
Isn’t porn sex trafficking and/or exploitation?
Lastly, let’s make something clear: consensual porn, or sex work per se, is not sex trafficking. Just like we don’t call a sexual encounter in which someone did not consent “sex” (because sex requires consent, and anything that lacks that is sexual assault), you cannot call content that depicts sex acts recorded without the consent or freewill of all participants “porn.” Unfortunately, many mainstream porn sites might feature content that actually falls under the lines of human trafficking or sexual assault (not all of their material is illegally obtained, but sometimes, clips like this slip through the cracks, and due to the sheer vastness of these sites, it takes incredibly long for the site moderators to take those films down), but you can rest assured that porn platforms that focus on providing ethically made content like CHEEX only showcase consensual porn in which all participants were treated humanely and properly.
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