5 Tips From a Sexologist to Spice Up Your Solo Game

People who masturbate usually have their routine pined down. Read on to see how you can spice your solo sex game!


Those of us who do masturbate usually have their pleasure time routine down – or masturbation masterplan, as I like to call it. This routine includes everything, not more nor less than exactly what we need to get aroused and to reach orgasm (if we have found this personal routine yet: it is not unusual to find it difficult to orgasm or not to have reached this point yet). So far so good: “whatever works” can be easily applied to our solo sex game and if it feels good, there is no reason to change it — but it could be interesting to, right? If these lines have piqued your curiosity, this article is for you!

As a sexologist working with clients, it is important to me to worship any sexual resources one has, and a solid masturbation routine is one of them! So it is not so much about losing your existing skills and pleasure-set but more about realizing that there might be a broader range of moving your body, observing sensations, and feeling all the good and horny stuff. Broader Range does not mean to necessarily “step into a new world” (I like to keep more realistic and approachable expectations) but it can mean to spice up your solo game and simply getting to know more options to choose from. It is also interesting to understand more about the way your body, mind and arousal are connected to each other. This is always the first step to influence or change the way you perceive or enjoy something when it comes to sex.

So let’s start with a rather hands-on and body-oriented approach and some inspirations! Not everything is for everyone — as we all have a different sexual system — but you might find something interesting for yourself to play around with.

1. Take more time for the build-up (but not too much!)

You might have noticed that to start slow or what some people call “foreplay” can make a difference. People who prefer coming straight to the point take no “advantage” in a longer time span before orgasm: it just does not make sense in their sexual system. It usually means that they have not had positive experiences with a different way of building up sexual tension yet. To speak in a neuronal language: there is no highway yet, that connects a certain action with the feeling of arousal. Luckily, connections or new “roads” can be developed anytime in our life: they start out as small pathways but can – with enough meaningful repetition – develop into a highway that is easy to drive on.

Tip: Integrate more foreplay into your solo sex

Take about 3 to 5 minutes time to touch or move your body in a different way. That can mean to stimulate your skin just around your genitals, leaving out the usual spots. Explore as far away from your genital, as you can while keeping some excitement – or use any of the inspirations listed below. Important: after these 3-5 minutes (or longer, if you feel like it) resume with what you know best. Prolonging the build-up can give you more intense pleasure and orgasms – it’s worth a try!

2. Breathwork works!

We “do” sex with our bodies. Our mind is often involved with fantasies or thoughts, at times supporting, other times limiting; but I often hear that “good sex” means to turn off your head and indulge into pleasure. Using your body-tools makes it way easier to focus on your body and let arousal spread. Breathing deeply also affects the blood flow, which is generally helpful for genital erection. Start by breathing deep into your belly, perhaps putting one hand just below your belly bottom. Then try to imagine that you breath goes even deeper, arriving at your pelvis and genitals. Do it before, during, or after masturbating and notice how it feels.

3. Swing your hips!

Movement is another very powerful body-tool. To set things in motion can change your whole perception – still, beside their hand, most people rarely move their body when having solo sex. Our hip region includes our genitals and the pelvic floor, so let’s get moving: Imagine doing cat-cow (a yoga pose) while laying on your back with your feet on the floor. Keep your bum on the floor and imagine to “swing” your hips in- and outwards, as if you were pouring some liquid out and drawing it back in. After getting used to it you can play around with speed, rhythm or synchronizing your breath and observe how it changes your sensations. By the way, this can also be a good idea for partnered sexual activities. A lot of people do this intuitively or use it as a turn-on for themselves.

4. Do a little dance…

This is the extended version of the above-mentioned hip-swing: Imagine listening to a really good, sexy song – actually, putting on some music might also help – and do a little dance in your favorite solo sex position. If you are on your back, you can smoothly move your hips from right to left, in circles, or swing-like. Use your upper body and head to try out some flowy motions. Slowly moving through honey can be a good picture to get into cohesive movements, that can overall improve your flow of arousal. Pay attention to thoughts or pictures that might come up during your dance – they often fit and enhance the sexy mood.

5. The smuggle-technique

All the mentioned ideas and little “exercises” only make sense, when you try to slowly introduce them into your routine instead of replacing your usual routine with new stuff only, or too much of it. This is the secret of change: small steps – smuggle it in – repeat. It still takes some time to develop new routines and we all know the frustration when it´s not as fast as we wish to. So, start with one little “new” thing and try to include it in your solo sex routine for a minute. Then go back to “normal”. If you ever feel your desire diminishing (and this will happen, if you suddenly change things!) stop and get back to what you are used to until you feel it coming back. Then start from the beginning. That way, you can slowly integrate and connect the new stuff with the “old” feeling of arousal and expand your sexual horizon.

Have fun discovering!


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