Since our last “Vote For Your Porn” was so successful with a total of 6.721 votes (wow, we’re still flabbergasted by that number!), we decided to take this team effort to the next level and make this concept a recurring theme. Until June 30, 2025, you have the chance to vote on various elements of our next production, such as intensity, practices, number of performers, or setting.
They don’t just fuck with your mind, they can make you cum as well.
As stated in a previous article, a study confirms that up to 97% of our population have sexual fantasies, making them our most frequent form of sexual activity.(1) But they are not just ordinary; they are powerful, too. Did you know that erotic fantasies can have a significant impact on our sexual behaviour, sometimes even being the sole catalyst for an orgasm!(2) And as if that wasn’t enough to convince you about how healthy fantasies can be for you, researchers have identified a connection between sexual fantasies and heightened arousal, orgasms, and overall satisfaction.(3) I mean, cum on!
Not every fantasy has to become reality
If you have another spicy daydream, don’t judge it, don’t pathologize it – even scenarios that you might feel ashamed of, remind yourself: they are okay. If anything, they can be an indicator of something you only don’t want to explore in real life, but rather indulge in it safely in your mind.
For that, ethical porn can be a support. Porn does not only materialize sexual fantasies, it can also be a source of erotic inspiration and sparking new ideas for practices you want to explore. See it as the vehicle to your big O, and with ‘Vote For Your Porn’ you’re in the driver’s seat.
Vote for your porn here
Act on them responsibly when sharing with a partner
Sharing sexual fantasies with a partner can be terrifying. But when done with care, it can deepen intimacy, unlock new dimensions of pleasure, and bring you even closer. To help you navigate this delicate yet delicious territory, we’ve gathered some playful but responsible action steps to guide you along the way.
Before You Spill the Tea to:
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Check in with yourself!
Before you drop that spicy bombshell, ask yourself: Is this something you genuinely want, or are you chasing someone else’s fantasy? Think through what excites you about it – whether that’s the power play, the taboo, or the sheer filthiness. Journaling it out might help you get clear on your why. -
Pick a good moment
Timing is everything, babe. Skip the drunken bar confession or mid-makeout ambush. Instead, bring it up in a relaxed and low-pressure setting. If it helps, plan a sweet date around it. -
Keep it playful
Ease into it like you would a sexy pool on a hot day. Drop a flirty hint: “I had the wildest dream about you last night…” or “Lately, I can’t stop thinking about you doing XYZ to me…” No need to overthink it. Choose the words that feel the most natural to you. -
Respect their response
Not everyone will be into every kink or fantasy — and that’s okay. If your partner’s eyes light up, amazing. If not, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you (or them). Prioritize consent, pleasure, and connection.
All good to go? This is how to safely explore your fantasy with a partner:
1. Do your homework
Knowledge is sexy. Make sure you understand any safety, legal, or skill factors that come with your fantasy. And yes, this is where we shamelessly refer to our CHEEX magazine, podcast, tutorials, and master classes. *wink-wink*
2. Set clear boundaries
Think of this as your personal intimacy coordination. Lay out what’s a yes, a no, and a maybe-for-later. It may even help to write this down on a list. Open, honest chats set the stage for hotter, safer play.
3. Agree on a safe word
Sure, safe words are famously used in BDSM practices, but they can also be beneficial in any other scenario. Pick something unexpected and random that won’t accidentally slip into dirty talk.
4. Start slow and check in
You don’t have to go from 0 to dungeon in one night. Start slow, maybe begin with dirty talk or light teasing first. Scheduling a date night to dedicate to exploring will help you have a designated time for open communication and safe exploration.
5. Say it with me: AFTERCARE
Amen. Take care of each other emotionally and physically post-play. Cuddles, snacks, giggles, deep talks, or just a hot shower together. Whatever leaves you both feeling good within your mind and body, connected, and safe.
Whether your fantasy stays in the realm of dirty daydreams or makes its way into your bedroom (or wherever else…), cherish it! Now go and have some fun with it. You’ve got this.
References:
1 ) Nimbi, F. M., Galizia, R., Fontanesi, L., Soyman, S., Jannini, E. A.,Simonelli, C., & Tambelli, R. (2023). Sexual Desire and Erotic FantasiesQuestionnaire: Validation of the Erotic Fantasy Inventory Scale(SDEF3) in Italian Adults. Healthcare, 11(6), 880. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare11060880
2 ) Rathus, Spencer A.; Nevid, Jeffrey S.; Fichner-Rathus, Lois; Herold, Edward S.; McKenzie, Sue Wicks (2005), Human sexuality in a world of diversity (Second ed.), New Jersey, USA: Pearson Education,
3 ) Leitenberg, Harold; Henning, Kris (1995), “Sexual Fantasy”, Psychological Bulletin, 117 (3): 469–496
