Now, there is one truth we need to face and acknowledge: as exhilarating, liberating, enlightening, and uplifting as sex can and should be, even the best of lovemaking comes with some risk. Not everybody who engages in sex wants to have a child, and the count will most probably drop further when it comes to genital warts.
We have finally reached a time when even the last rascal sitting in the last row has realised that with sex comes responsibility. While regular STI testing seems to still be mainly expected of vulva-owners and queer penis-owners, there seems to be a growing understanding that all parties involved in (consensual) sexual intercourse are equally in charge.
Enters: The Condom
Let’s be honest for a moment, face up to the facts, everybody says it all the time, and can agree that: Condoms are not sexy.
Condoms are the cruellest of curses and the greatest of gifts combined. Lucky for us, long gone are the days where condoms were exclusively made of funky smelling latex and smelled funky. Despite the often unfulfilled promise of a “natural feeling,” condoms at least offer a fairly high – if not “airtight” – protection against unwanted to serious side effects of hopefully otherwise very sexual encounters.
Even if for some of these annoying side effects nothing can be done, there are a few tips that can help turn the ever-so-slightly awkward putting-the-condom-on-in-anticipation-of-penetrative-sex moment where the passive one never really knows what to do with themselves, both into a moment of self-determined pleasure and shared erotic act. The trick is simply for those that would have been passive to get involved.
Picture this:
This is it, you have finally reached the point of extreme desire. Blood is boiling, hearts are pounding, penetration is imminent. This is what you have got to watch out for:
- Always have GOOD condoms within reach. So place them near the couch, the bed
or, if you’re into it, by the windows.
- When you ask your partner(s) to wear a condom, stay engaged. Use this downtime
downtime to acknowledge your body, as well as the one in front of you. Touch your partner(s), touch yourself, start masturbating, or do a little striptease if you still need to take some clothes off. Consciously taking your time will often intensify anticipation and pleasure. Always keep in mind that pacing yourselves often results in the highest pleasure.
- If you really feel like it, you can also take the initiative to put the condom on your
partner yourself. Grab it quickly, with a confident look, and slowly bring it down toward the penis. Unwrap the condom, put the right side up (IMPORTANT: Really take your time here, trying to put a condom upside down will make the whole moment not so sexy), with the tip sucked into your mouth, place the condom over the glans and, with your lips, gently push it down the rest of the shaft – if you feel like it, you can even “deepthroat” it. With your hands, make sure the condom is rolled all the way down, or confidently take your partner’s hands and place them on their shaft to finish the job for you.
Prevention may not be our passion, but the best sex is and will remain safer sex.
