Did you know that receiving oral sex can boost the chance of orgasm and increase sexual enjoyment for all genders? Altogether, research shows that oral sex is a strong predictor of emotional closeness, intimacy, and relationship satisfaction.¹
But mastering cunnilingus is about so much more than just tongue tricks. In our “How to Eat Pussy” Masterclass, we learned from performers and self-proclaimed “professional lesbians” that it’s as much about curiosity, communication, and attention to every subtle response as it is about technique. Here are the five lessons I took away about pussy eating.
1. Prep
Before you even think about diving in, the number one rule from our instructors Lesbo Pro and Puck Ellington is simple: have fun and enjoy what you’re doing. Be curious, present, and excited, whether you’re on the giving or receiving end. Don’t get stuck in your head worrying about how you smell or look. Overthinking is a guaranteed mood killer.
When it comes to hygiene, less really is more. Washing the vulva with water is enough, especially since so-called “pussy hygiene products” tend to be more marketing than necessity. If the giver has a beard, they should make sure it’s freshly shaved or trimmed so it doesn’t disrupt the vulva’s natural pH balance.
Comfort, meanwhile, is everything. Even small details, like wearing socks, can help someone relax and fully let go. And relaxation is one of the biggest keys to reaching orgasm, so creating a cozy, pressure-free atmosphere goes a long way.
2. Build-Up
Take your time to build momentum. If you think you’re going slow, try going even slower. Anticipation is what makes things exciting—and often far more pleasurable. You might spend hours just making out, only to find that when you finally move on to oral, the orgasm comes almost instantly. By then, the tension has been building for so long that release feels almost inevitable.
Our experts talk us through the four stages of arousal:
- Excitement: Tease every part of the body, including the mind. Mix up touch, speed, pressure, and attention.
- Plateau: If your partner is close to orgasm, they may get quiet. Don’t stop or change the rhythm; consistency is everything.
- Orgasm: Let the plateau flow naturally into climax.
- Resolution: Aftercare is essential. Check in, talk about what you might need or want now.
No rush. Take hours if you want. It’s not just about the orgasm but about the experience and the joy of giving pleasure to each other. Slow, attentive build-up can make all the difference in connection, intensity, and satisfaction.
3. Techniques for Eating Out
When trying new techniques, start slow and let the body adjust. Keep intensity gentle at first, and let your partner’s responses guide you.
Here are three techniques to experiment with, shortly explained:
- • Clit Kisses: Use your wet lips to kiss the clit, exploring speed, pressure, lingering, and pauses. This technique is great for anyone who prefers indirect stimulation.
- • Labia Licks: Use a flat tongue for long, short, soft, or firm licks on the inner and outer labia. Work your way from the outside in, change directions, and combine licking with kisses for extra sensuality..
- • Oral-Penetration Combo: Add fingers or toys while performing oral sex. Check in with your partner first — some love the extra stimulation, others may find it overwhelming. Start slow and adjust based on feedback.
4. Tips & Tricks
Here are some extra tips & tricks when encountering obstacles or challenges during pussy eating:
- • Tired Tongue: Stamina is a common challenge during pussy eating. Moving your head instead of your tongue, can help relieving the jaw and tongue.
- • Dry Mouth: Staying hydrated is always beneficial, even during pussy eating. So keep a drink nearby or even try flavored lubes (stevia-based to reduce infection risk). Lube can take pressure off and make oral smoother.
5. Not Sure What’s Working?
Confidence can dip if you’re unsure whether your partner is enjoying it. The best way to find out is simply to ask. Establishing open, playful communication — before, during, or after oral sex — is key to understanding preferences and enhancing your sex life.
Some people feel vulnerable giving feedback, or they might not even know exactly what they enjoy. A helpful trick is to offer optional questions, like: “Do you like this more, or more of that?” Giving choices makes it easier for your partner to reflect and respond without pressure, while giving you clear guidance to adjust your technique.
Final Thoughts
Mastering pussy eating isn’t about acrobatics or racing toward orgasm. It’s about leaning into pleasure, connection, and communication. From prep and hygiene to slow, teasing build-ups, experimenting with techniques, and checking in with your partner, every step is about creating a shared experience of pleasure. The real magic happens when you take your time, stay present, and keep things playful. Open conversation can transform uncertainty into confidence and help both partners discover what truly feels good — together.
Sources
[1] Elliott S. & Umberson D (2008). The performance of desire: Gender and sexual negotiation in long-term marriages. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 70, 391–406. doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.0048pH balance9.
